I know what to do

50mm, 1/200, f2.2 ISO 250

The thoughts rolling through my head-
I want them to lift me,
point me to my goals,
feel my successes,
and have a vision greater than today.

Instead, they are-
shielding me,
protecting me,
keeping me safe.

But safe is boring.
Being unseen is diminishing.
I am ready for more.
Ready for...

"I can"
"I know what to do"
"life is amazing"
"I have beautiful things to offer the world."

I know what to do.

exit interview

iso400 35mm f2.8 1/160

It was the last day of my mission in the Argentina Rosario Mission.  I sat across the desk from my mission president, Jorge Ventura.  He asked me a question in spanish- "do you know how to find a husband?"  I wasn't sure what he meant or how to respond.  He filled the silence with profound wisdom that I will always be grateful for-

"Hermana Miller, tiene que casarse con alguien que no tiene miedo de trabajar y no tiene miedo de sacrificarse."
Translated: "Sister Miller...marry someone who isn't afraid to work and isn't afraid to sacrifice."

If you know Danny at all, you know that I followed that advice very carefully.  I am so grateful that my girls have him to learn from.  They see him work long days and come home with a smile on his face.  They see him frequently offer to help neighbors and friends.  They see him care of rental property that we have worked hard to obtain.  They have been given the privilege to work there.  They like the money they can earn...but what is even more valuable is the lessons of work and sacrifice they are learning by being at his side.

I will always be grateful for my mission, but especially that wisdom I received on my last day in Argentina.

Saturday night swim

When the girls were little we loved the pool on Saturday nights.  We would bring dinner.  We often found neighbors to visit with...and always played until close.  The girls would shower before we left. When we returned home they were ready for bed.  It was the perfect way to end a summer night.  Now that they are older (and busier) we rarely have an evening when we are all together...and even more rarely spend it at the pool.  Tonight stars aligned and we were all there.  Ellie drove herself there after work.  Kate and Sophie were there a bit earlier swimming with friends.  Danny and I brought dinner to grill- salmon, asparagus and red potatoes.  We were lucky enough to spend time with neighbors and stay until the sun went down.  It felt like old times, and I loved every minute of it.

3rd pair

her last pair broke in a "jumping on the trampoline with glasses" incident

3 days left

There are only three days left of school-

Kate will do about anything to avoid writing her last English essay of the 8th grade.

S I X T E E N

(left to right: Sophie, Rivers, Ellie, Quincy, Lauren & Kate)

She is 16 and ready to conquer the world.  She is already making plans for early graduation...(my mama heart says why rush?) living on land, somewhere warm (!!!!) ...growing...loving dogs and children...and working hard through college.   I can't wait to watch her reach her dreams!

I am so thankful for these beautiful girls (my daughters and nieces) and what they mean to each other and to me.  They all amaze me.  I adore them...and they were the perfect addition to a weekend of celebrating.

Saturday Ellie, Kate and Sophie skied with Danny.  At 4 these three cousins arrived to celebrate!  We took pictures on Main Street and then ate at Royal India.  While Lauren and Ellie organized and added personal touches to Ellie's new to her car (!!!!) the rest of us went to Target to finalize a few things for the celebration.  That night they had a sleepover with treats and movies.

Sunday our plans for church were foiled by a big snow storm.  Snowed in we all worked to move Ellie's room to another in the house- how sweet are these cousins of hers?  And we worked hard to have dinner ready for all of our UT family members that were in town.  We enjoyed tomato and potato soup with a grilled cheese bar.  Brownies and ice cream for dessert.  It was the perfect weekend to celebrate our amazing Ellie Bellie! 

expecting a new niece in May

Micah is getting married!  We love Rachel!  We can't wait for the big day-May 12th 2018!

BEATS

ISO 100 50mm  f2.2. 1/1600

the worst Christmas present I ever gave...

what were we thinking?

she can never hear me-

but she does LOVE to get lost in a world of music.

AUTHENTICITY

ISO 320 135MM f8  1/1600

(why was my ISO @320 when my shutter was 1/1600!?)

“...the older I get, the less impressed I become with originality.  These days, I’m far more moved by authenticity.  Attempts at originality can often feel forced...but authenticticity has quiet resonance that never fails to stir me” -Elizabeth Gilbert in BIG MAGIC

These words seemed to jump off the page as I read them in the bleachers at Sophie’s swim practice yesterday. My mother-in-law has to be one of the most authentic people I know. She lives true to herself and will take my girls to the park with all four of them in pjs...in the middle of the day...just to make them happy...which makes her happy. ❤️ 

(This photo was taken in Hawaii just after she jumped into the water off a cliff)

SLEEP

50mm f2.2 1/100 ISO1250

When she asked Friday night if she could sleep in the bathtub I didn't think she would really do it.

CREATE > CONSUME

35mm 1.4 ISO 400

Photo taken on March 31, 2017.  Danny and I (with Michel + Jimmy) rose early our first morning in Hawaii to watch the sunrise over the ocean.  On our way back to the house (oh how I long to be there every morning!) I caught my shadow as I approached the lawn. Rising early to capture the sunrise over the ocean is one of my favorite examples of living the concept I learned today.

I LOVE the podcast BOLD NEW MOM by Jody Moore.  (I can't find the episode on her blog right now.  It may be the very newest that was posted yesterday and not on the blog yet.)  Today she taught the concept of CREATE MORE THAN YOU CONSUME.  It was EXACTLY what I needed and what I have been praying to understand.  As a stay at home mom with 3 children in 10th, 8th and 5th grades I have a lot of time on my hands.  Time that goes quickly to be sure, but time that is really flexible to fill however I choose.  I have felt really unsettled the last few years...really unsatisfied truly.  I have this desire to be more...produce more...give more...

The concept of CREATE > CONSUME pierced me!  Many of my days are filled with approximately  80% as CONSUMER and 20% as CREATOR.

Some of my CONSUMER choices:

social media: especially IG.  I check IG ALL DAY LONG.  Most of the people I follow are people I know personally.  I check in on them over and over and over.  Photo posting then stories, then look by again in case I missed anything.  Then I head to "explore." anything there...?  Facebook.  Honestly.  I hate FB.  I love people that I know on there which has been a great excuse to check in...but I really don't like "being there."

audible...LOVE
podcasts...LOVE
shopping...LOVE
eating...LOVE

reading, Netflix, listening to music, magazines, YouTube (brilliant!), TedTalks (YES!), blog reading, NEWS (UGGGH), movies, TV.

Jody explains...and I am in complete agreement that none of these things are bad.  The trick is to make sure that we create  MORE than we consume.

Some CREATE choices that I love (and don't do enough of):

write, play, art, cook, serve, walk, yoga, bike, swim, travel, photography, hugs, budget, FHE, calligraphy, yard work, cleaning, piano, guitar, blog....

I have a new plan.  I am done living under a rock of consumerism.  Why have I been afraid to be me...to live...to grow?  Why have I been standing on the sidelines observing others living?  I am grateful for this new vision.  Thank you Jody Moore!

Sunday swinging

 I think our backyard is our favorite spot at home

Kate noticed a few beautiful blooms and picked them for her room.  

I smiled when I saw them in a bud vase in her window sill.  

 These hammocks have been a hit this summer and fall!

We keep trying to talk Quincy into moving in with us-

she just smiles :)

BIOLOGY>CHEMISTRY

As we were driving to Sunday dinner Ellie was in the passenger's seat.  We were actually attempting to tow the VW bus truck to Nana's to store for the winter...or longer, but that is a long story for another day.

She reflected...

isn't it amazing how all of our bones, muscles and ligaments work together?

As we drove down the hill toward the round-about we agreed--- the amazing intricacies of our bodies, even those that don't function perfectly, testify to the reality of a God who created us, a Father who has a plan for us.  Every cell in our body has a function.  Our bodies were created to fight for life, to protect from illness, to heal.

On the way home our discussion continued-

humans are the most dominant animal on the planet.

Jungle Book reminds us that man has the tools of fire and invention.  The animals told Mowgli, DON'T USE YOUR TRICKS.

it would be fascinating to be a researcher-

BIOLOGY>CHEMISTRY

I love listening to her thoughts.  It is interesting to me, that as she is gathering truths from school, literature, movies and personal experience, I get to reflect on one of the greatest testaments of the reality of God...the moment SHE, my first baby was placed into my arms.  I knew that this precious baby was more than x/y chromosome - zygote - baby.  She was a MIRACLE.  A literal miracle.  A spirit filled the room that wasn't there before.  I felt immediately that she was filled with light and wanted knowledge.  That spirit in her continues today.  I could never deny after March 4th, 2002 at 5:13 a.m. that not only was there a Heavenly Father with a plan for me, but that HE is greater than I ever imagined.  

MARCH 4, 2002 @ LDS HOSPITAL, SALT LAKE CITY, UT

science project

She has missing assignments and a grade to attest to the dread she felt having to complete an 8th grade science project.  To her surprise, as she rolled up her sleeves today to do the experiment-

she REALLY ENJOYED it.

It helps that her back yard, plants, water and sunshine were involved.

It didn't hurt that her favorite assistant was available too.

a name and a blessing

Sharon and Jason blessed baby

T H E O D O R E   R O B E R T   L L O Y D

until you believe in yourself

For years we have asked Kate-

would you like to try a sport?

swim?

no, I might drown

soccer?

I might break my leg

track?

I hate running

softball?

(Laugh) are you serious?!

tumbling?

I can barely somersault

Some of the excuses were sincere- but most of them were offered with a smile.

In PE this term she has been playing volleyball.  One of her classmates suggested, after playing with her, that she should join a volleyball team.  She was enthused, interested and excited.  All of us feel better after we exercise.  It is hard to fit it into the few free daylight hours a jr high school schedule allows. I was so grateful for that classmate that believed in her, which in turn inspired Kate to believe in herself.  I signed her up for the volleyball class today.

Going through photographs for another project, I ran into this-my Aunt Jossy.  I love the joy on her face doing what she loves!

Ideally, wouldn't it be wonderful if we each had the vision and foresight to believe in ourselves without the need for outside encouragement?  I think I get  s l o w l y  better at this the older I get.   But in the meantime, my aunt Jossy has been such a strong influence for me.  I remember two instances in particular.

When I was 21 and leaving to serve an LDS mission, we stayed in her home before heading to the MTC.  My dad said something on that visit about me "not being college material"  (In my dad's defense, I was not a strong high school student- absentminded, unmotivated and often below average grades.)  Aunt Jossy didn't believe it and saw a greater potential in me and in the university system.  I did graduate from college several years later (a bachelors in Speech and Hearing Science) often on the honor roll.

While studying at the University of Utah I took a fine art class.  Aunt Jossy had an art studio in Salt Lake City at the time.  She asked me about the class.  I told her of some of the discouraging feedback my professor had given me (I don't remember his words now) and she wouldn't hear of it.  When others put up a hurdle she coached me over it.  (Whether those hurdles had merit or not.)

We don't alway have the vision of our own potential.  As a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend-I want to inspire growth, cheer people over their hurdles and believe in their hopes and dreams.  Just like my aunt Jossy has done for me. So, until they believe in themselves- there is me.

Thanksgiving in St George

We were lucky enough to spend Thanksgiving break in St George with our Davis family.  Amanda and Randy invited all of us to their new home.  We had 27 people...

Godfrey's - 7

Ngatuvai's - 7

Paul - 3

Go Ute Nana

Lloyd's - 4

and US - 5

We ate great food, took turns cooking.  Thanksgiving dinner was a delicious feast.

We saw two movies- Moana and Arrival.

The kids swam regardless of temperature...there was one day that I believe the only times Sophie got out of the pool or hot tub was to eat.

The adults went to Anasazi Grill---it was AMAZING!

We attempted family photos...

Nana had her Christmas while we were all together.

The girls shopped...

Danny and Paul mountain biked.

Jimmy rented ATV Razors

We face-timed Rob & Whitney...and Papa face-timed Amanda for her birthday.

We celebrated Amanda's birthday.

Danny, Paul and Jason helped with some small house repairs-gliches.

We laughed and laughed...

it was a break full of so many reminders of so much we have to be thankful for.

THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE, JR

Annie, Grace, Kate, Annemarie, Rylee, Kayley and Mya

Annemarie, Emily, Annie, Grace, Rylee, Kate, Kayley

T E N Y E A R S O L D

My baby is TEN YEARS OLD!

We started the day EARLY!

She woke up at 5:30 in the morning! WOW!  I think she was excited!

When the rest of the family was up and ready---we opened her presents.

Danny and I gave her a mini doll camper and truck...with a doll and accessories!

Ellie and Kate gave her a nerf bow and arrow set.

We topped off the morning with french toast with challah bread- topped with fresh berries and a marscapone lemon cream.

I volunteer in her school class on Wednesdays.  As soon as I finished we snuck her out the door---

grabbed lunch at Cubby's and brought lunch for Nana and Papa to celebrate Nana's retirement!!!!

AND for Dede and Chase...Chase is recovering from a tympanoplasty.  

 Then we went to Dede's so Sophie and Chase (and Biscuit) could play.

 T E N  Y E A R S  O L D !

 THEN...off to tumbling!!!!!

We finished the day with dinner at Cafe Rio and Baked Bear!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOPHIE!

WE LOVE YOU!