I know what to do

50mm, 1/200, f2.2 ISO 250

The thoughts rolling through my head-
I want them to lift me,
point me to my goals,
feel my successes,
and have a vision greater than today.

Instead, they are-
shielding me,
protecting me,
keeping me safe.

But safe is boring.
Being unseen is diminishing.
I am ready for more.
Ready for...

"I can"
"I know what to do"
"life is amazing"
"I have beautiful things to offer the world."

I know what to do.

exit interview

iso400 35mm f2.8 1/160

It was the last day of my mission in the Argentina Rosario Mission.  I sat across the desk from my mission president, Jorge Ventura.  He asked me a question in spanish- "do you know how to find a husband?"  I wasn't sure what he meant or how to respond.  He filled the silence with profound wisdom that I will always be grateful for-

"Hermana Miller, tiene que casarse con alguien que no tiene miedo de trabajar y no tiene miedo de sacrificarse."
Translated: "Sister Miller...marry someone who isn't afraid to work and isn't afraid to sacrifice."

If you know Danny at all, you know that I followed that advice very carefully.  I am so grateful that my girls have him to learn from.  They see him work long days and come home with a smile on his face.  They see him frequently offer to help neighbors and friends.  They see him care of rental property that we have worked hard to obtain.  They have been given the privilege to work there.  They like the money they can earn...but what is even more valuable is the lessons of work and sacrifice they are learning by being at his side.

I will always be grateful for my mission, but especially that wisdom I received on my last day in Argentina.

Saturday night swim

When the girls were little we loved the pool on Saturday nights.  We would bring dinner.  We often found neighbors to visit with...and always played until close.  The girls would shower before we left. When we returned home they were ready for bed.  It was the perfect way to end a summer night.  Now that they are older (and busier) we rarely have an evening when we are all together...and even more rarely spend it at the pool.  Tonight stars aligned and we were all there.  Ellie drove herself there after work.  Kate and Sophie were there a bit earlier swimming with friends.  Danny and I brought dinner to grill- salmon, asparagus and red potatoes.  We were lucky enough to spend time with neighbors and stay until the sun went down.  It felt like old times, and I loved every minute of it.

3rd pair

her last pair broke in a "jumping on the trampoline with glasses" incident

3 days left

There are only three days left of school-

Kate will do about anything to avoid writing her last English essay of the 8th grade.

S I X T E E N

(left to right: Sophie, Rivers, Ellie, Quincy, Lauren & Kate)

She is 16 and ready to conquer the world.  She is already making plans for early graduation...(my mama heart says why rush?) living on land, somewhere warm (!!!!) ...growing...loving dogs and children...and working hard through college.   I can't wait to watch her reach her dreams!

I am so thankful for these beautiful girls (my daughters and nieces) and what they mean to each other and to me.  They all amaze me.  I adore them...and they were the perfect addition to a weekend of celebrating.

Saturday Ellie, Kate and Sophie skied with Danny.  At 4 these three cousins arrived to celebrate!  We took pictures on Main Street and then ate at Royal India.  While Lauren and Ellie organized and added personal touches to Ellie's new to her car (!!!!) the rest of us went to Target to finalize a few things for the celebration.  That night they had a sleepover with treats and movies.

Sunday our plans for church were foiled by a big snow storm.  Snowed in we all worked to move Ellie's room to another in the house- how sweet are these cousins of hers?  And we worked hard to have dinner ready for all of our UT family members that were in town.  We enjoyed tomato and potato soup with a grilled cheese bar.  Brownies and ice cream for dessert.  It was the perfect weekend to celebrate our amazing Ellie Bellie! 

expecting a new niece in May

Micah is getting married!  We love Rachel!  We can't wait for the big day-May 12th 2018!

BEATS

ISO 100 50mm  f2.2. 1/1600

the worst Christmas present I ever gave...

what were we thinking?

she can never hear me-

but she does LOVE to get lost in a world of music.

AUTHENTICITY

ISO 320 135MM f8  1/1600

(why was my ISO @320 when my shutter was 1/1600!?)

“...the older I get, the less impressed I become with originality.  These days, I’m far more moved by authenticity.  Attempts at originality can often feel forced...but authenticticity has quiet resonance that never fails to stir me” -Elizabeth Gilbert in BIG MAGIC

These words seemed to jump off the page as I read them in the bleachers at Sophie’s swim practice yesterday. My mother-in-law has to be one of the most authentic people I know. She lives true to herself and will take my girls to the park with all four of them in pjs...in the middle of the day...just to make them happy...which makes her happy. ❤️ 

(This photo was taken in Hawaii just after she jumped into the water off a cliff)

SLEEP

50mm f2.2 1/100 ISO1250

When she asked Friday night if she could sleep in the bathtub I didn't think she would really do it.

CREATE > CONSUME

35mm 1.4 ISO 400

Photo taken on March 31, 2017.  Danny and I (with Michel + Jimmy) rose early our first morning in Hawaii to watch the sunrise over the ocean.  On our way back to the house (oh how I long to be there every morning!) I caught my shadow as I approached the lawn. Rising early to capture the sunrise over the ocean is one of my favorite examples of living the concept I learned today.

I LOVE the podcast BOLD NEW MOM by Jody Moore.  (I can't find the episode on her blog right now.  It may be the very newest that was posted yesterday and not on the blog yet.)  Today she taught the concept of CREATE MORE THAN YOU CONSUME.  It was EXACTLY what I needed and what I have been praying to understand.  As a stay at home mom with 3 children in 10th, 8th and 5th grades I have a lot of time on my hands.  Time that goes quickly to be sure, but time that is really flexible to fill however I choose.  I have felt really unsettled the last few years...really unsatisfied truly.  I have this desire to be more...produce more...give more...

The concept of CREATE > CONSUME pierced me!  Many of my days are filled with approximately  80% as CONSUMER and 20% as CREATOR.

Some of my CONSUMER choices:

social media: especially IG.  I check IG ALL DAY LONG.  Most of the people I follow are people I know personally.  I check in on them over and over and over.  Photo posting then stories, then look by again in case I missed anything.  Then I head to "explore." anything there...?  Facebook.  Honestly.  I hate FB.  I love people that I know on there which has been a great excuse to check in...but I really don't like "being there."

audible...LOVE
podcasts...LOVE
shopping...LOVE
eating...LOVE

reading, Netflix, listening to music, magazines, YouTube (brilliant!), TedTalks (YES!), blog reading, NEWS (UGGGH), movies, TV.

Jody explains...and I am in complete agreement that none of these things are bad.  The trick is to make sure that we create  MORE than we consume.

Some CREATE choices that I love (and don't do enough of):

write, play, art, cook, serve, walk, yoga, bike, swim, travel, photography, hugs, budget, FHE, calligraphy, yard work, cleaning, piano, guitar, blog....

I have a new plan.  I am done living under a rock of consumerism.  Why have I been afraid to be me...to live...to grow?  Why have I been standing on the sidelines observing others living?  I am grateful for this new vision.  Thank you Jody Moore!